The Gaffer

The organiser of the Weed and an all round good guy. Desperate to win the Weed but just cannot produce the form on the day, to add to his countless majors. Best effort was 2nd in 2002. Missed the 2003 event to focus on his work career which went pear shaped 3 weeks later.

A former club champion, his recent campaigns have come to a desperate end when he is pumped in the first round by a junior. Recent form has been torturous after his Tom Reekie Green Master was stolen from his car. No longer looks forward to the 2 footers and often tops his 3 wood when going for a big one.

A recent 10th major win suggests that perhaps the Weed could be bagged this year — alas, was pipped at the post yet again despite majestic play in a net 67.

Early 2009 and before most have even swung a club another major has been bagged. After 3 previous disappointments in the final — the worst ever to the Clump and Lloyd — the first silverware of the season was bagged after a tense finale. Is it possible for him to catch up with Tiger this year in the major stakes?

A defeat to Jonny in the quarters has once again seen the Great Mont fall into a deep depression.

Trying to add more credence to his legend status, the Great Mont's philanthropic character came to the fore at the recent Pro's Day celebrity auction. A few beers and a couple of Jack Daniels and Coke was all it took for the Great Mont to make an extremely generous — some may say gallus — offer of a four ball at the Carrick GC on the bonnie banks of Loch Lomond. A surprisingly low sum of £200 was finally bid for the prize, as rumours surfaced that the Great Mont was to be one of the fourball participants…

A fine effort to win his first Green Jacket came up again one shot adrift as a bogey up the last killed off his chances. Had to endure shouts through his shots, his clubs were thrown up a tree as he attempted to deliver the one his game deserves.

At the time of writing the Mont has won hee haw — not even a medal. Hellish. Claims to be focussing on the Weed, he has unearthed his old Ryder Powerbar sand iron which was meant to have been stolen… Mont?

Despite being runner up in the B Putter Player of the Year the form has not been good with point ones aplenty. A bitter defeat to Disco in the championship has seen the Mont fall out of love once again with the great game. Is ever hopeful that the Weed though could be his… and once again not even close (pish).

An early season 68 in the April Medal had the Mont believing he was back to his formidable best. A false dawn it was, as an early exit from the Richmond saw him readjust his focus to the Cleuch — the only major he claims he has not won. As you will see, his chat remains as pish as ever!

After a sleepless night, the Mont is in deep depression once again as a potential 6th championship slips from his grasp. Playing majestically, he just could not shake HT from his back and it was Hamish — can you believe it — that rolled back the years to win the 2011 championship. The Mont is again pinning his hopes on Weed glory.

And………they all said it would never happen but on Sunday 25th September 2011 it all came good as the Mont breezed round in 65 less 2 to claim yet another major. I do not think we will hear the end of this — but well done, you deserved it!

The trophies keep coming for the Mont. Hard on the heels of Bubba's Masters win, the Mont grabs his 14th major (WL 2012) to join Tiger — and now needs just another four to match the Golden Bear.

6 weeks before the Weed and the Mont is again despondent with his golfing game. The elusive CC has again escaped him as he was trounced by Maude in the final, claiming his hernia was playing up… dry your eyes, man.

The Weed was no more better and a hernia-induced 74 was returned. 2013 has not been a great season to date, with the CC being moved by a week to ensure he cannot play in it. He is not happy. If you see him, ask him how he got in to this year's championship…